Confession: I'm an HSP
Maybe you are, too? Quiz included to find out.
My entire life I’ve known this about myself: I am sensitive. To loud noises, to other people’s feelings, to scented candles, to being underground, to a sweater or necklace that’s just a little too tight on my neck. But it wasn’t until I was in my thirties and leading my own self love movement that I realized not only was being super sensitive common, it has a formal label: Highly Sensitive Person (or HSP for short).
A Highly Sensitive Person is someone who is deeply affected by their environment — both physically and emotionally. According to the Cleveland Clinic, “‘Highly sensitive people are built more deeply, emotionally and mentally than most people,” notes Dr. Childs.’”
While being an HSP can mean one gets more easily hurt or offended, or has a lower tolerance for external stimuli others might not even notice, it can also mean the opposite: that an HSP is more in tune and receptive to positive subtleties as well. HSPs form deep connections, have a rich inner life and are very creative. It took me a long time to realize that my sensitivity isn’t just something to explain away or apologize for: it’s also my superpower.
Not sure whether you’re an HSP? The person who coined the phrase actually created a quiz that you can take to find out.
Early on in my learning journey about what it means to be an HSP, I assumed being an HSP and being an empath were one and the same. In reality, while many people are both (like I am) they are in fact distinct. In my experience, my sensitivity to my environment comes from being an HSP. But my ability to feel, read, and absorb other people’s energy - even if they are a continent away - that’s where my empathic nature comes in. As both an HSP and an empath, I am sensitive to other people’s experiences in a heightened way. Self love has taught me how to nurture my nature so it can be a gift instead of a burden. So today, I want to share some of the lessons I’ve learned that have helped me thrive as a self-loving HSP (and empath).
5 Things You Need To Know To Thrive As A Highly Sensitive Person
Create the Right Physical Environment
As an HSP in my early forties, I’ve lived enough life to know that having the right environment can make or break me. When it comes to work, I make sure that I do the majority of my work in spaces where I am alone and it isn’t too loud or busy. Previously, I’ve worked in tight offices where I was side-by-side with others. I was so triggered by their energy and emotions and conversations, I couldn’t get anything done. Now, everyone I work with is remote – which is great for them and me. In my home life, I also make sure to get plenty of alone time in rooms with stimulation that I can directly control. While everyone might not have the same flexibility as I do in their work environment, having a pair of high-quality noise cancelling headphones can make all the difference. I received a pair of Bose headphones as a gift a few years ago (pictured above!) and now I won’t leave the house without them – just in case.
Commit to Your Creative Outlets
The greatest antidote for my more challenging HSP tendencies has been creativity. Whether I’m playing the piano, writing poetry, or expressing my creativity through another outlet like dance or art, creativity allows me to transcend my current environment and connect with my truest, most authentic and expressive self. When I don’t make time for creativity, I find that my sensitivities compound. Much like a runner feels more centered after a run, I feel more centered after I do some creative writing (though I will say – I’ve recently found that exercise is a wonderful outlet for HSPs as well).
The video above is me learning to play new music on the piano again after over 20 years. I learned this Coldplay song by ear and I must say, it felt amazing to challenge myself and express myself again in this way.
Make Choices – Without Self-Judgment
If I could go back in time and make one change, it would be to eliminate the self-judgment that has tainted so many of the decisions I’ve made. As an HSP, making any decision is extremely taxing emotionally, but what’s worse, whatever decision is finally made usually comes with a shroud of self-judgment. This comes up when making decisions as low-stakes as picking a nail polish color, or as high-stakes as picking a business vendor. If we could all simply own our choices without instantly regretting or doubting them, HSPs’ minds would instantly become 50% freer.
Reframe Your Sensitivities as Your Superpowers
When I was a litigation attorney, my sensitivity was something that made it impossible for me to do my job. I remember one project in particular, where I was tasked with tabulating and explaining all the bills that had accumulated during a years-long case (the bills my firm had charged added up to millions), I felt so bad for the client that I could barely speak. Now that I’m a poet and speaker who is committed to empowering others to love themselves, my sensitivity is what makes people connect with my work. What once silenced me now gives me a voice.
Choose Communities and Individuals Who Embrace You
Growing up, there were many people who made me feel like I was too much. Too sensitive. Too specific. Too difficult. But I built strong relationships with friends, family members, colleagues and, eventually, my wonderful husband and kids who see me and love me for exactly who I am. This manifests in many ways. My girlfriends never make me sit in the backseat of a car and always let me weigh in on restaurant choices to make sure wherever we choose isn’t too loud. My husband makes sure the closet door is closed in our bedroom each night (even if it means an extra trip out of bed) and never makes me feel like I’m being too emotional. My kids know I can only listen to one conversation at a time and make an effort not to speak to me all at once.
Surrounding yourself with people who embrace you – rather than make you feel too sensitive – is the single best thing you can do as an HSP to not only survive, but thrive.
Thank you for being my Self Love Confidential community. I couldn’t do this without you!
I scored a 25! Wow! I have always known I was an HSP, but never realized how sensitive I truly am. Thanks for sharing this.