Is it yours?

Poetry Oracle: 9/6/2024

Welcome back to the Self Love Confidential Poetry Oracle, where the universe sends you the message you need to hear right now by way of a poem from me.

If you’re ready to let go of some heaviness, today’s Oracle is for you.

A poem from Self Love Poetry: for Thinkers & Feelers, get your copy here.

One of the recurrent fears and nightmares I have on a weekly basis is getting robbed—or burgled; the lawyer in me thinks it’s important to note both. I can’t tell you exactly when this started, but it is a very real and constant part of my life. I awake in the middle of the night and, in a half-asleep, hallucinatory state, move my jewelry around. I’m so good at hiding it while I’m mid-REM that in the morning, sometimes I have no idea where I put it. It’s not an easy way to exist; this constant state of vigilance has wreaked havoc not only on my sleep but also on my overall nervous system. And while there is a foundation for this fear—as I’ve been both robbed and burgled in the past—I think you and I can probably agree that this isn’t just the manifestation of my dorm room getting burgled when I was 18, or my purse getting robbed off me when I was 25 (see how I used those properly there?). I know that I’m someone who is deeply nostalgic and attached to my belongings, but I’m also someone who constantly works on myself, and at least in my waking life, have achieved a sense of “it’s just stuff, who cares” freedom. But when I sleep, well. That’s a different story.

There has been a recent surge in crime in my neighborhood (maybe yours too?) and so the nightmares have gotten worse. I shared this with my brother—the crime, my ensuing nightwalking—and half-jokingly said, “You would think I was forced to leave everything behind when I was three months old to flee my country and start fresh in the USA.” Because it’s true—I did have to leave everything when my parents and I fled Iran in 1982 during the Iranian Revolution. But this is where things got interesting: my brother shared that his therapist taught him that babies actually adjust their nervous systems, heartbeats, and overall emotions to match their mother’s… not just inside the womb, but outside of it (the concept is called co-regulation if you want to learn more).

He then suggested a thought that completely blew my mind. He said, “Melody, when you left Iran you were an infant. You didn’t own anything to lose. The person who lost everything was Mom.” And just typing that here, now, leaves me sobbing. I feel for her so deeply. The person who lost everything was my mom. My fear of loss, of being robbed, of losing everything—it’s not mine. It is my mother’s. She was only 21 when she had to leave Iran. She was a newlywed. She was the first in her family to leave. All she had was me.

Is it possible that all this time, the trauma I have been carrying, this fear, this nightly terror, wasn’t even mine? What are you carrying that isn’t yours? Can you put it down?

From Dreams to Reality

Three months ago, I noticed a new Barnes & Noble being constructed in Santa Monica, CA. This was a huge deal since the original B&N in Santa Monica went out of business a few years ago, leaving us without a major bookstore in the area. Needless to say, I was EXCITED. I stood in front of the construction site and made a big wish: “I hope they stock my books.” I snapped a picture of myself to memorialize the moment and then carried on with my day.

This past weekend, I found myself in front of the Barnes & Noble again. This time, it was open! Not only that—it was the grand opening weekend. I held my breath and walked in. Would they have my books? I went to the poetry wall and was beyond thrilled to see “Self Love Poetry” on the shelf. I asked a manager if I could sign it, and she said, “Wow! You were in our opening shipment of books—that is a big deal, and you should be so proud.” Next, I decided to try my luck in the personal growth section, and that’s where I discovered my other book, “The ABCs of Self Love.” I was giddy.

In “The ABCs of Self Love,” the letter D stands for Daily Dream. In that chapter, I share that dreams only come true if you have them. Three months ago, I dared to dream. Last weekend, that dream came true. You might say the books would have been there regardless. But the feeling of having an intention and seeing it realized transforms the experience into something else entirely. And if I’m being honest, I’m not sure the books would have been there if I hadn’t dreamed them into existence. I believe we each impact our worlds—not just through our actions but also through our thoughts, emotions, and intentions. For a long time, I didn’t dare to have dreams. Now, I’m urging myself to dream more often—and bigger and louder.

Do you have a dream? Reply to this email and tell me. Let’s set the intention, speak it into existence, and bring it to fruition with our devoted action.

Want a reminder to dream daily? Save the image below and use it as your phone’s lock screen.