It's never too late...
Poetry Oracle: Week of September 18th
Welcome back to the Self Love Confidential Poetry Oracle, where the universe sends you the message you need to hear right now by way of a poem from one of my books.
If you are ready to reclaim a part of yourself that you thought was lost forever, this Oracle is for you.
The Duomo, Milan, Italy.
Twenty years ago I left Los Angeles to study abroad for a semester in Milan, Italy. For four months, I immersed myself in the unrivaled richness of Italian culture while also experiencing the first true independence of my life. While I was there, I had three weeks of Italian language classes, and then learning to speak Italian was up to me. So I secured an Italian boyfriend and learned the language, and fast. I had never felt more alive in my life than I did during that semester in Milan.
When I came home a few months later, instead of confidently taking on post-college life high on the joys of my european adventure, I had an existential crisis. Newly aware of all that the world had to offer outside my bubble, I couldn’t handle the confines of my once fulfilling life. I even wrote and recorded a very Fiona Apple-esque song about it called This Life, which you can listen to below:
I had two options: blow up my life, or tuck Italy away and carry on. I chose the latter and did the reasonable thing: I applied to law school. Most of you here know how that worked out for me.
For twenty years, I haven’t spoken Italian, despite the fact that I was pretty fluent by the time I left Milan. I tucked the language away, just like I tucked away the wide-eyed girl who realized there was more to the world than Los Angeles. But a few months ago, I was invited to attend my cousin’s wedding in Rose this October, and I decided that if I was going to go back to Italy, I would brush off my Italian. I downloaded Duolingo, and today, 44 days into my language-learning streak, here’s the incredible thing I’ve realized: I remember all of it — every single word I ever learned.
Self Love Poetry: for Thinkers & Feelers
I’m blazing through the lessons with perfect scores as though Milan was yesterday. According to Duolingo itself, even if you’ve forgotten a language you can re-access the memories you thought were lost and get the language back, a psychological phenomenon known as the “savings paradigm.” If you can’t remember something you once knew, whether it be someone’s name or how to say coffee cup in Italian (it’s tazza), your brain isn’t relearning that information — it’s recovering it.
Self Love Poetry: for Thinkers & Feelers
If I can recover my Italian, I can also recover other parts of myself that I’ve tucked away and seemingly forgotten (including my inner singer-songwriter). If I can reclaim myself after 20 years, you can, too. Because it is never too late — never.
Wow!! That song!! Thank you for sharing
Such a great reminder that home is always here and always accessible.