Self love is... escaping the matrix at Esalen
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Last weekend, for my 43rd birthday, I treated myself to a four-day meditation retreat at Esalen in Big Sur, California, a magical center dedicated to nurturing personal transformation and human potential through immersive workshops, natural hot springs, and a deep connection to mind, body, and spirit.
While I knew of the facilitator, beautiful soul
Together with my partner in woo woo crime (my brother Jonny), we said our goodbyes, packed the car, and set out on an adventure into the wild unknown.
A poem from my new book, Moon Garden: Poetry for Manifestation, now available for preorder at RJ Julia (with a free preorder gift!).
When we arrived at Esalen, the first change we experienced was the disconnection from our phones. There was no cell reception, and only limited wifi in specific parts of the center during specific hours. This meant that my iPhone magically transformed into my trusty old iPod (the very best Apple innovation, in my humble opinion). The next change we experienced coming from the hustle and bustle of Los Angeles was sprawling and uninterrupted nature in all directions. Esalen is basically set on a farm on a cliff overlooking the ocean. Bees were buzzing, trees were swaying, flowers were blooming. The creek that runs through the center of Esalen, which itself is on sacred tribal land (the Esalen tribe is the namesake for the center), is a rare intersection of freshwater, saltwater and a hot springs.
When you cross the bridge over the creek you’re invited to let something go, and welcome something in. What I let go of — over the course of three days of breathwork, meditation, and dance — was the matrix: the ever-connected productivity bubble we all find ourselves in. What did I welcome in? My wild, my pleasure, my true self. Through breath, through movement, through human connection, and yes, even through a nude foray into the hot springs.
The matrix — the social structures that keep us bound to traditional ways of working and living — is one we are all locked into. But it’s also something we can break free from: as long as we are willing to break our patterns and make some wilder choices.
While I was at the retreat, my teacher told us to set an intention for the weekend. For me, the word that instantly came to mind was expansion. I want to expand my mind, my body, my spiritual connection, my pleasure, my world. This is only possible when we’re willing to remove the limits we impose on ourselves through our habits, our patterns, our limiting beliefs and stories.
The beauty is that while we’ve been busy being busy, Mother Nature has never given up on us. She is always there, patiently sharing her cyclical beauty and waiting for us to take note and get aligned. While at Esalen, a member of my retreat said that Esalen feels like a portal, one that opens up while you’re there and disappears when you are gone. Another said it felt like being in a snow globe, in a simulation. And in a way both are right: given how most of us spend our days, it does feel like the simulation is the natural world, instead of the other way around. But the truth is, nature is the real world. We created the simulation that we’re now imprisoned within. And we too hold the keys to our own liberation. Nature is our true home. The door is always open.
A poem from my new book, Moon Garden: Poetry for Manifestation, now available for preorder at RJ Julia (with a free preorder gift!).
Self love is escaping the matrix, and embracing our wild.
It’s letting go of the stories that keep us small, separate, and stuck.
It’s remembering that pleasure is a path back to our wholeness.
It’s remembering that the door is open.
What defines your matrix? How can you break free of it?
How can nature become a bigger part of your daily existence?
How wild are you willing to be?
XO,
Melody (your resident lunatic)
Listen to my Esalen playlist as you journey into your inner wilderness.
PREORDER MOON GARDEN FROM RJ JULIA IN MADISON, CT AND GET A FREE GIFT!
I’m beyond grateful to partner with iconic independent bookstore The Strand in NYC, a long-time supporter of my books, to offer signed preorder copies of Moon Garden: Poetry for Manifestation that come with a special, limited edition glow-in-the-dark sticker sheet with some of my favorite poems from the book. Use the preorder link below to get yours! Thank you for supporting independent bookstores and me. <3
