Stop being sorry... and be this instead

Poetry Oracle: Week of August 28th

Welcome back to the Self Love Confidential Poetry Oracle, where the universe sends you the message you need to hear right now by way of a poem from one of my books (or in today’s case, a new poem).

If you’re tired of saying sorry, this week’s Oracle is for you.

In my life, I’ve said my fair share of sorries. Some were deeply due, and some, well some in retrospect were not. The greatest sorry that stands out in my mind as a mistake was when I apologized (profusely) to a then boyfriend for a prior relationship I had been in. A relationship that predated ours, and frankly, was none of his business. But boy did I wipe myself across the floor like a used rag as I begged for his forgiveness. My sorrow-filled sorries the bleach I hope would erase away my history. I erased myself to make him more comfortable, as sorry often does.

Since then there have been many more casual sorries, like the one I reference in this Oracle. I was in the medicine aisle of Target, looking for allergy meds for my dust-averse son, when I had to share the aisle with what I can only describe as a wild-looking, middle-aged man. With a skateboard in one hand, he walked towards me down an aisle that was more than big enough for both of us. But I pulled myself to the side and sheepishly said, “I’m sorry,” as though I was somewhere I didn’t belong (I did) and taking up too much space (I wasn’t).

He stopped, looked me straight in the eyes, and without skipping a beat said, “Don’t be sorry. You weren’t put on this Earth to be sorry. Be wild.”

With that, something in me shifted. He was absolutely right. I wasn’t put on this Earth to be sorry. And with every sorry, I do in fact compromise my wild. Let me be clear: I’m all for apologizing when an apology is due. But the casual sorries, I think it’s time we are all collectively done with that. Sorry has become yet another way I try to wrest control of the unpredictable world at large, instead of flowing with it.

The Shift: Poetry for a New Perspective.

I see my daughter, now newly eleven, using sorry to keep the peace. Just last night, we had an argument and an hour later she came and said sorry. Instead of accepting it, I sent her away. This wasn’t a sorry situation, and I told her. We didn’t agree about something, and despite how uncomfortable that was for both of us, I’d rather she not be sorry about holding her ground. When I brought it back up, she defiantly acknowledged what I already knew: “Well, I’m not sorry!” she said. And I was proud. I may not have agreed with her, but I was delighted to see her embrace her wild instead of hiding behind a facade of sorry.

The Shift: Poetry for a New Perspective.

Giving up sorry means owning your desire, your freedom, your truth. It isn’t always easy, or pretty, but it is WILD. Which is exactly what we were put on this planet to be.

What awaits you on the other side of embracing your wild? I can’t wait to see.