It's time to protect your peace

Poetry Oracle: Week of May 22

Welcome back to the Self Love Confidential Poetry Oracle, where the universe sends you the message you need to hear by way of a poem from one of my books. I’ll select the weekly poem(s) by trusting my intuition, the very thing I hope you’ll start to do as a member of this self love community.

Self Love Poetry, pages 17.

This past week crushed me. Conflict with the people I’m closest to shattered my ability to choose positive thoughts, find the joy, and apply all the other self love strategies I usually employ to get through life.

Why was there conflict? I couldn’t handle other people’s feelings. Whereas years ago I would simply bury other people’s pain, frustration or anxiety deep like I was prone to do with my own feelings, now something in me has changed. Instead of dropping down into me, their feelings bounce around on my surface like a rock skipping on a once placid lake. They disrupt my equilibrium and evoke reactions in me that are so big I scare myself sometimes. Sometimes my reactions are even bigger than the catalysts.

I told my therapist, “When the people around me are happy, I’m happy. But when they’re upset, I fall apart. Can we please fix that?”

Thankfully he reminded me of something — when I allow other people’s actions, thoughts and especially feelings dictate my mood, I give up the very control I’m desperately clawing for most of the time. More than that, I give up my freedom.

As an empath, I feel people deeply all the time. But being an empath isn’t an excuse to lose autonomy over my peace. That’s why this poem is so important, especially right now:

She owned her choices
and her moods
both high and low.
Her happiness
was hers to cultivate.
She was the cause,
the catalyst.
She was her own.

While we cannot control what others do or say, we can, with practice, learn to choose what we want our reactions to be. This doesn’t excuse others from their responsibility not to dumping their emotional baggage on you; it just means it is your responsibility not to pick it up if they do.

So this week, if you encounter a bad vibe ask yourself: is it worth sacrificing my autonomy to be bothered? For me, this week especially, the answer is no. Let me know if you agree.